How To React To An Offense
How To React To An Offense
I recently posted a series of articles on how to avoid being offended. So many people today are easily offended and then react in very destructive ways. I hate to see this in our country but I especially hate to see this happen with people who call themselves Christians.
The Apostle James spoke to this problem in his letter to the church…
… blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! James 3:10
Reactions Speak Louder than Words
In my recent posts, I offered a few ideas on how to keep from being offended. But in listening to a recent sermon by Andy Stanley, some more ideas were triggered that are important to this discussion. Andy talked about how our reaction to being offended can either be a strong proclamation of our faith in God or actually disprove our faith in God. Let’s take a look at this…
Reactions That Cause People to Be Amazed
Andy said that the goal of people observing our reactions should be for them to be amazed and wonder what could possibly cause us to respond to an offense in such a calm and unprecedented way.
We want people to connect the dots of our behavior and think, “Wait a minute. This person must have something special going on to be able to respond in such a remarkable and controlled manner. I wonder what that is.” But too often we are more like Jesus’ disciples.
A Shocking Response
In the story told by Luke, in the Bible, he mentions a time when Jesus and his disciples were prevented from spending a night by the people of a certain city. Shockingly, Luke tells us that the disciples wanted to call down fire from heaven on these people (Luke 9:54).
This sounds a bit like some of the religious/political zealots of today, doesn’t it? They believe their faith justifies their harsh and judgmental behavior. Jesus rebuked his disciples for thinking like they did. This wasn’t the kind of behavior that represented his Father’s kingdom.
God’s True Children
In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, he said…
You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:44,45
In other words, you can tell who the true believers are by their behavior: they react to being offended with love and prayer, not violence. God’s children look like him.
You see, God’s children are able to react calmly to an offense because they know that God is in control of their lives. When we react in anger, we show the opposite. We get upset because we assume someone has done something to us that is out of God’s control. We feel justified in attacking back to regain control. Again, quoting Andy… our reactions reflect our confidence or lack of confidence in God.
When we overreact in anger, people look at us and say, “What good is their faith if they respond to offenses just like I do or even worse? Surely, God has no influence over them. Their faith is just talk.” They are unimpressed and offended by our hypocrisy.
Jesus made this same point when he said:
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Matthew 5:46,47
Jesus Showed Us The Way
If you are a follower of Jesus, you have a higher standard. You can’t just quote the Bible at your convenience and for your benefit. Jesus calls you to live out your faith.
Jesus modeled the appropriate behavior to being offended. When he had been flogged and faced a bloody crucifixion, Pontius Pilate said that he had the power to determine Jesus’ fate. But Jesus responded saying.
“You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” John 19
Even though Jesus was facing certain death, his words tell us that his life was NOT out of God’s control. Pilate wasn’t in control. God was in control and Jesus knew that. That’s why Jesus didn’t have to strike out in anger, rather he trusted himself to his Father.
The Apostle Peter put it like this…
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 1 Peter 2:23
Jesus was able to calmly respond to an offense because he trusted his life to his Father. He would’ve said: God’s got this. I don’t have to take offense and overreact in anger because my Father is in control.
The Right Reaction Points to God
We have this story to show us how to react to an offense. This is the kind of response the world needs to see in us when we are offended. When we trust that God is in control of our lives we take the power away from our offender and show the world that God is real in our lives.
A Transformed Life
Many people profess faith. Many people quote scripture. But few show a transformed life. When God’s people react in humility to an offense, this is what makes them “a light to the world” and “the salt of the earth.” This is what the world is looking for. They don’t want a hollow hypocritical faith. They want to believe in Someone who can change their life.
Not being offended is much more than learning how to not get upset. It’s about showing the world that God is real in your life and that he can be real in the lives of other people too.
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