Caring vs. Curing, Henri Nouwen Reflection
Caring vs. Curing
a reflection on the words of Henri Nouwen
I’ve been reading Henri Nouwen ever since I lived on our Wisconsin farm back in the ‘90’s. A friend introduced him to me. Then in 2007 I started reading daily quotes from the Henry Nouwen Society. I saved the best ones in a file. The first quote I captured is something that I had read ten years early about caring vs. curing.
Nouwen’s take on caring vs. curing struck me because I have always been a Mr. Fixit… Solve the Problem… Move-on kinda guy. That seemed helpful to me! But Henri Nouwen slowed me down when I read what he said here:
Caring vs. Curing, Henri Nouwen
Care is something other than cure. Cure means "change." A doctor, a lawyer, a minister, a social worker-they all want to use their professional skills to bring about changes in people's lives. They get paid for whatever kind of cure they can bring about. But cure, desirable as it may be, can easily become violent, manipulative, and even destructive if it does not grow out of care. Care is being with, crying out with, suffering with, feeling with. Care is compassion. It is claiming the truth that the other person is my brother or sister, human, mortal, vulnerable, like I am.
When care is our first concern, cure can be received as a gift. Often we are not able to cure, but we are always able to care. To care is to be human. Bread for the Journey
Often we are not able to cure, but we are always able to care. To care is to be human. That thought was a game changer for me. A shift took place in my spirit as I saw the value of simply being present with someone.
Leaving My Sweetspot to Care
I’ve seen this play out in our current travels in Chile and Mexico. I’m not actively teaching as much as I have in the past. Teaching is my sweetspot. People often tell me that my books and sermons have helped them so much. So that’s my natural go-to way of helping. But much of my time on this trip has been spent over a meal or cup of coffee with someone. I have had to keep telling myself that there is value in being present, listening, affirming, and laughing together. My only value to the world isn’t in the solutions I offer. It’s like the saying that goes,
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Theodore Roosevelt
So, look around today. There are many things that need fixing. Problems that need solving. Even people that need curing. But who can you spend some time with to show how much you care?
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Related Post:
What Silence Reveals About Your Self-Worth, more thoughts from Nouwen