spiritual Abuse and church Consultant
Healthy People
Healthy Churches
helping people and Churches recover from toxic and spiritually abusive faith.
Don’t let toxic faith steal your joy.
Addressing Spiritual Abuse in Churches
People are deconstructing their faith…even leaving their faith…and the church. Maybe that’s you.
You’ve been hurt, betrayed… possibly abused. It’s all very confusing. Most people don’t understand or appreciate your situation.
So, who do you turn to? How do you recover? Can your faith in God survive?
What if you are a church pastor or leader and, somehow, your church has gone off the rails. You have an abusive pastor or group of elders. How do you confront them? How can you rescue your church from the damage that’s being done?
I’m here to help. Let’s look at what went wrong and how to take your next steps to get your church back on track. Or, if you are an individual, simply move on from the church to find healing.
Be encouraged: God is the God of new beginnings. Of resurrection. So, let’s talk.
Sign up for a free coaching session below to see how I might help you recover from a toxic church culture (individuals) or create a healthy church culture (pastors and leaders). It’s worth a conversation.
books to help overcome spiritual abuse and personal setbacks
Each book is written to help you overcome a specific obstacle in your life: spiritual abuse, shame, loss and setbacks, unforgiveness, and anger. Click on the books to learn more, read reviews, and purchase the books. Available in paperback, Kindle and audio versions at Amazon.com.
*I earn a small commission on purchases made through these links. Thank you for helping support my work.
“Thank you so much for your ministry to those experiencing spiritual abuse. I have in the past month read your books, Broken Trust, STUCK, and now I am reading Return from Exile. All three books ministered to me deeply, and I would dare to say, changed my life...you have been like a brother to me, as I have been hurting, your books brought me healing and hope.”
Meet F. Remy Diederich
author, speaker, Coach, Consultant
I've been in ministry for over 30 years as well as a spirituality consultant in a treatment center for drugs and alcohol for 24 years. This experience is what led me to write six books to help people overcome common challenges like spiritual abuse and toxic faith, shame, anger, unforgiveness, grief and loss. People appreciate my down to earth approach that purposely avoids religious jargon and clichés.
I’ve worked with countless individuals, pastors and churches through the years to help them recover from past setbacks and failures to find a way forward with God’s help.
I've been married for over 40 years with three great adult children and two grandchildren. I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA and enjoy biking, running, reading books, and sharing a beverage with good friends.
Coaching to overcome
bad church experiences
Sometimes we need a little help. Life can be hard and the options are plentiful.
Coaching will help you take the next best step to get you where you want to go and reclaim your life.
Individual coaching
I can meet you in person or online to offer next steps in your journey as you face complex issues or decisions. Schedule a free consultation to learn more about how we can work together.
Pastoral coaching
Where do pastors turn for confidential advice, explore new ideas, or simply share the hurt that often comes with the job? Schedule a free consultation to learn more about how we can work together.
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“I was really encouraged by your message on returning from exile. Specifically that being in exile is a precursor to becoming a blessing to others. I really want to become a blessing to others. Thanks for your thoughts on living in exile, too. I found myself connecting with many of your points.”
Read the Latest From My Blog
Let’s Get Started
If you’re ready to get healthy by recovering from a bad church experience or spiritual abuse then I’m ready to provide the insights, strategies and encouragement you need to overcome your setbacks and live the life God intended for and you and your church.
Frequently Asked Questions About Spiritual Abuse
Should I leave my Abusive church or try to confront the abusive pastor?
In most cases, it’s best to leave an abusive church. Abusive leaders are rarely open to correction even from other leaders. Remaining in the abusive church may cause you more pain in the long run.
Why is it so hard to leave an Spiritually abusive church?
There are many reasons for this. Most people are so heavily invested in their church - financially, relationally, maybe family legacy - that it’s hard to give all that up. But the question is: do you want to keep investing in something that is hurting you and others?
What should I tell church members from my old church when I see them in public?
This is a common fear… running into people from church at the grocery store, library, etc. Do you avoid them? If not, what should you say? It’s best to not avoid them. Greet them. Be pleasant. Ask how they are doing. Don’t feel any obligation to explain your absence from church. If they ask you about it, offer a vague answer that doesn’t invite more questions, such as: I have decided to take a break from church for right now. I’m not taking a break from my faith. But thanks for your interest/concern.
Is expressing my concerns about church really gossip?
Accusing people of gossip is a common tactic of abusive pastors. They want to shut down any negative thoughts about their ministry. The Oxford dictionary defines gossip as: … casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true. So, what you say and to whom you say it is really the question if you are gossiping or not. If possible, it’s good to go to church leadership with any concern to see how they handle it. But this is not always easy because of power differentials. This can be quite intimidating. The best approach might be to take your concerns to a respected Christian outside of your church context to share your concerns and offer you advice on what you can do. This is how people often use my coaching service, conferring with me about next steps rather than simply sharing concerns with other church members.
This is just a sampling of questions that I answer in my book, “Broken Trust.”
The Tinder Swindler convinced vulnerable women to give him thousands of dollars. What can we learn from the Tinder Swindler and other scammers like him?