Parenting without Shame is Possible
Parenting Without Shame Is Possible
Parenting Without Shame…Someone stopped me the other day and said, "I bought your book and I'm getting a lot out of it in regard to parenting". I had to smile because I’ve heard that a lot.
“You’ve probably heard it said that “hurt people hurt.” Well, “shamed people shame” as well. ”
Healing the Hurts of Your Past wasn't written with parents in mind. But so many of my examples in the book refer to parenting that it's a natural connection for someone to make.
I could rework the book using the same information and just target parents. Maybe I will someday. But in the meantime you should know that the book can help you in this department. In fact, it definitely helped me with my parenting.
Identifying My Shame
Fifteen years ago, when I was researching the topic of shame, it dawned on me that I had shame issues. I feared that I was passing them on to my children.
You've probably heard it said that "hurt people hurt." Well, "shamed people shame" and I didn’t want to pass my shame onto my kids.
I sat my teenage kids down and explained what I had learned about myself. I defined shame. I told them what it looked like in our lives and apologized for my shaming ways. I warned them that I'd probably still do it some more... I was a work in progress. But I wanted them to know what it looked like so they would know when to discount what I might say or do.
I've come a long way over the years. Now I have a pretty good "shame detector" in my brain that keeps me from shaming people, or at least alerts me to when I do it so I can apologize quickly and appropriately.
Parenting Without Shame
The first step in learning how to parent without shame is to realize your own shame and deal with it. I’ve written a lot on this website about how to overcome your shame with God’s help. Our insecurities and lack of self-worth are so easily transferred to our children. But once you see how you took on shame you will quickly be able to see how you pass that shame onto others… and stop it.
Shame leaves a terrible legacy. It undermines relationships and leaves you with all kinds of emotional baggage. Thankfully God has an answer for shame.
Healing the Hurts of Your Past will help you see what it looks like to shame your children and how to reframe your parenting to be more positive in your approach. I hope you’ll check it out.
See also:
Subscribe to readingremy.com and you will receive the first chapter to my book STUCK and an occasional blog post. Don’t worry. I won’t overwhelm your in-box. Click the button above to discover all my books, blogs, and coaching options to help you live a better life.