Obedience Is A Trigger Word

Obedience is a Trigger Word

…who or what are you yoked to?

In my last post I wrote about how Jesus called his followers to obey him. Talking about obedience is tricky because the word can trigger people to push back in anger and defensiveness. For some, the word “obedience” has a negative connotation. I want to take a minute to see what that’s all about.

Four Reactions to the Word Obedience

People generally respond to the idea of obedience in four ways. 

Obedience is the opposite of grace. 

As I mentioned in my last post, some people assume that any call to obey, even to Jesus, negates the idea of grace. They think that seeking to obey Jesus means that you are working to earn God’s pleasure and salvation. 

Obedience stifles independence and creativity. 

To others, the idea of obedience implies rules and rules are seen as restrictive, even oppressive. These people want to forge their own path…find their own way. In fact, for some, any call to obey is a good excuse to do the very opposite! 

Obedience is the language of spiritual abuse. 

The idea of obedience has been used against so many people in spiritual contexts. In fact, the idea of “drinking the koolaid” is part of our vernacular, referencing the people in Jonestown, Guyana who drank arsenic laced koolaid to obey their cult leader.

But short of that extreme example, it’s not uncommon for churches to actively preach that wives should obey their husbands and people should obey their pastors, even if they are wrong.

The mistake here is that they conflate obedience to Jesus with obedience to all authority figures. That works well for the authority figure but crushes the person whose compliance is required. 

The Shepherding Movement

Much evil has been done through this teaching. Back in the 70’s, there was the Shepherding movement. It taught the idea of having a spiritual “covering.” The idea was that everyone should be in submission to another person and God works through that chain of command. 

For example, a child submits to a parent, a wife submits to her husband, the husband submits to their pastor, the pastor submits to the church overseers, and the overseers submit to God. 

As long as everyone submits to their authority they are “safe.” They are in God’s will. But if you step outside of your “covering” you are considered rebellious and out of God’s will. 

This teaching did a lot of damage in the 70’s and sadly still exists in many church circles today… still doing damage.

The Problem with Blind Obedience

The teaching might look logical on paper… it convinces a lot of people… but it doesn’t take into account the fact that people aren’t always 100% in tune with God’s Spirit. In fact, they are prone to pride, selfishness and greed.

To cover this flaw, people in authority use the idea of obedience to control and manipulate others but dress it up with spiritual terminology, using the Bible to demand obedience. Meanwhile, the people under authority suffer everything from loss of finances to sexual abuse, along with a broken spirit.

As you can see, this puts a bad taste in people’s mouth in regard to “obedience.” The word is so intertwined with abuse that they can’t separate the two.

Jesus’ Teaching on the Role of Authority

What angers me about this teaching is that “authority” figures aren’t meant to force submission or dictate their will to people. The role of a leader is to serve others, laying down their lives for the people they watch over and helping them to draw close to God, their true authority. He is the One we are to obey.

Jesus told his disciples …  

“You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them. But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:25-28

How do you know if you are being abused by someone’s leadership? Ask yourself: is your life improving or unraveling? Is your world getting bigger or smaller? Is there more joy and freedom in your life or less? Are you advancing or going backwards? Are you working to obey a person or God?

Obedience is the Path to Freedom. 

The final response to obedience is to see it as the path to freedom. In a simple analogy, consider how obeying street signs, or better yet, Google Maps, helps you to reach your destination. It’s much better that following a hunch.

Obedience to Jesus Can Trigger Joy

In contrast to blindly obeying a human leader, Jesus said that obeying his teaching leads to freedom.

“If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31,32

He also said that his teaching wasn’t a burden to carry.

“Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Place my yoke (teaching) over your shoulders, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble. Then you will find rest for yourselves because my yoke (teaching) is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30

As I noted, a “yoke” was the teaching of a rabbi. You “yoked” yourself to a rabbi, like two animals, meaning that you did what they did. You went where they went. In the process, you became like your rabbi.

Obeying the Wrong Person

Jesus contrasted his teaching to the other rabbis of his day. Where they taught heavy rules that crushed the spirits of followers, Jesus’ teaching actually led to a better life. 

You can see how spiritually abusive it would be to yoke yourself to a selfish person…the destruction it would bring. The trauma. Every time you saw a yoke you’d probably have a panic attack. That’s how some people respond to hearing the word, “obedience.” They don’t hear “freedom.” They hear “abuse.” That’s why obedience is a trigger word for them.

Jesus said that he wasn’t like that. You don’t have to fear yoking yourself to him. He will lead you to a good place. Following him will turn you into the best version of yourself.

Don’t Miss Out On What Jesus Has for You

I recently heard a story in a sermon that illustrates this well. The speaker (Kara Stromberg) said that when her child was a toddler she made a plan to take her daughter to the local zoo. Kara was excited about having a little mother/daughter time. But when it came time to put her daughter in the car seat, her daughter fought back so hard that Kara gave in to her rebellion and they stayed home. Her daughter was delighted at the win but Kara was sad because she knew how much more fun they would have had if her daughter had just obeyed her.

This is a great illustration of the goal of obeying Jesus. If we can only trust Jesus’ intention in calling us to obey, our lives could be so full. We miss out on so much when we resist obeying him.

I hope my thoughts help to de-trigger the word “obedience” for you and frees you to follow Jesus wherever he leads you. You might also appreciate the following video…

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