The Emotions of Setback and Loss - Day Nine

The Emotios of Setback and Loss

Day Nine… from setback to comeback

This is Day Nine in or 40 - day journey from setback to comeback.

So far, I've talked about what exile is and described a variety of exiles. Now I want to look at what sends you into exile. Of course, outright sin and reckless behavior is the fast track to exile. But I want to focus on the more subtle causes of exile.  

“Most of us are ill-prepared for loss. I’m not sure why that is. Are we that optimistic or that naive?”

Setback + Loss = Exile

What often sends us into exile is a setback and loss.  Loss happens when your experience falls short of your expectation.  If you look back over the last few days, that's what happened to Abram. He expected glory. He experienced famine. That was a great setback, accompanied by many losses.

Most of us are ill-prepared for loss. I'm not sure why that is. Are we that optimistic or that naive? We see loss all around us. But we rarely think it will happen to us. When it does happen, we are often devastated and disillusioned. It can knock us off course for years (thus: exile).

The Emotions of Setback and Loss

Loss produces a variety of uncomfortable emotions. The big three are:

1. Anger -

…you are mad that your expectation wasn't met; mad at whomever you think is responsible.

2. Sadness -

…you mourn the loss of what you expected to have forever.

3. Fear -

…you are afraid that you will never achieve your expectation: that loss will be a way of life.

If you don't find an answer for these emotions, they will control you forever. They will be like a choke-chain, able to jerk you around at any given moment.

Emotions Are A Good Thing

You need to know that these emotions are normal. In fact they are good. If you didn't have an emotional response to loss, there would be something wrong with you. We have a word for people like that: sociopath.

So be glad you have emotions. God gave them to you to move you to resolve  your problems.

But, you don't want to get stuck in your emotions. You want to move through them to a better place. So, be careful that you don't stuff your emotions as a "quick-fix" to their discomfort.

Emotions are what help you explore what's going on inside of your head and heart.  They help you understand where you stand with God and people. They give you a clue to some wrong, even toxic thinking that might be present within you.

Some questions to consider:

What are some emotions you've experienced in your exile?

How do they make you feel?

Do you try to suppress your emotions and deny them?

What have you learned about yourself and God from your emotions?

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This 40-day journey is adapted from my book, Return from Exile. https://amzn.to/3DyPUQH

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