Admit Your Mistakes to Rebuild Trust

Admit Your Mistakes

…to rebuild trust

Admit your mistakes… I'm a change dealer, so to speak. Wherever I go, whomever I speak to, it's usually to help people make a change for the better. It's a good trade. I enjoy it.

One thing I hear myself talk about a lot is the need to admit...FULLY admit...the problem. It's human nature to cover up our mistakes, or to at least minimize them. But you only hurt yourself by doing that.

As painful as it is at first, it’s important to put everything on the table if you want to make true change.

I've written about the importance of admitting in past posts but let me add a few more thoughts today.

Five Reasons to Fully Admit Your Mistakes.

Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is one issue. Today I want to talk about the importance of admitting to others. Here are five reasons to fully admit your mistakes:

1. To not admit your mistakes destroys trust.

We tend to shave the truth, that is, to minimize it. Why tell ALL the truth when you can save face and only tell half of it?  One reason is for your own peace of mind.

But God knows the truth and when you minimize what happened you have to live with the guilt of your cover-up. Plus, people WILL find out the truth eventually. And when they do, their anger will be rekindled...now TWICE as much as before.

You broke trust before, but when you "told the truth" they thought they could trust you. When they find out you held back the truth you may never regain their trust. Is it worth it?

2. You don’t want others to admit your mistakes first.

You don't want your friends and family hearing about what you did from others. When your friends and family hear things through the grapevine that you should have told them, it breaks trust and adds to the offense. It would have been so much better if you just told the truth up front. 

3. When you admit your mistakes, you build credibility.

If you give more details about your wrong than people asked for, they will take notice. You could have skipped some of the details and no one would have known. But when you tell ALL the details, you show people that you are serious about coming clean. You aren't protecting your image. You are pursuing truth no matter what the cost is to you.  This builds trust.

4. When you fully admit your mistakes, it shows people that you are a new person.

Your friends, family and co-workers are used to hearing half-truths and rationalizations.  They expect it. That's your M.O. But when they see you going out of your way to tell the truth it takes the relationship to a whole new level because they realize that something’s changed. You must be a new person. You are no longer hiding behind lies. You are no longer trying to manipulate them. They can finally relate to you without questioning your motives. That's refreshing!

5. To admit your mistakes is cleansing.

Once you tell the truth you don't have to carry the weight of a cover-up. You are free. You don't have to fear your secret getting out because it's out. And the relationships you now have are free from deception.

You can experience true intimacy and joy because you aren't haunted by the lies you've told. You can be confident that people love YOU, warts and all, not a fabrication of the person you've presented through your stories and lies.

If you are looking to make a fresh start in life, spend a good amount of time on the front end: admitting. The better job you do at admitting, the quicker you will be at rebuilding trust with the people in your life.

If you are looking to recover from personal failure, you might want to consider my book: Return From Exile… overcoming loss, failure and personal setbacks on Amazon.com.

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