Responsible People .... My wife and I are finally settling down. Ever since I ended my season serving at a church in Michigan last October we’ve been on the move: selling our house and traveling to see family and friends. We moved from rural Wisconsin to Minneapolis and are working to renovate our new home and eventually move in.

A part of this new season of life is finding a new church. Our hearts and roots will always be in the church I pastored for nearly twenty years (Cedarbrook) but we want to make connections in our new town. So last Sunday we headed out to visit our first church. 

It didn’t take me long to think: “I should offer to teach here.” I mean, that’s how I’m wired. That’s what I do. But I had to jump into that thought and remind myself that this year is supposed to be a year of rest, reflection, and waiting to see what new thing God has for us. Sure, we can both jump in and serve at the first church we find, but that wasn’t the plan. Being quick to serve might actually be the wrong thing for us right now.

Responsible People Have No Off Button

I mention this because I think there are many people with our problem. Lisa and I are wired to be responsible. It seems to be in our DNA. That’s a good thing, but as is often the case, it can be a bad thing too. Responsible people tend to think they always have to be doing something. Our “on” button gets stuck and we don’t know how to turn it off.

Responsible People Need to Rest

There’s a verse in the Bible that is often quoted but I’m not sure how often it’s heeded.

Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

It’s hard to wait. We gain so much of our identity from doing. Doing something makes us feel valuable. Useful. It’s a part of our image. We don’t want people to think of us as lazy or selfish.

But God doesn’t always want us doing. He calls us to rest. More specifically, he calls us to cease… to stop our activity at times. That’s what the word, “sabbath” means. 

When God created the world he “ceased” implying that there was nothing more that could be added to what he had done. And ever since then God has called people to follow his example by ceasing one day every week. 

Ceasing is an opportunity to rest, enjoy what’s been done, hear from God, and gain new insight. To never cease prevents all of these good things from happening. It’s what causes fatigue, depression, and burnout.

Responsible People Need Permission to Do Nothing At Times

I was being interviewed recently on a podcast about spiritual abuse and my book, Broken Trust. The podcaster asked me what were some of the spiritual disciplines that I’d recommend to recover from spiritual abuse. I laughed and I said, “Do nothing.” 

I think she was looking for something a little more profound than that. But I told her that inherent to spiritual abuse are a myriad of toxic expectations about how to please God and others. You are constantly told to do something (read your Bible, pray, go to church, obey rules, etc.) and the sense is that whatever you do isn’t good enough. As a result, you live in a perpetual state of defeat. Responsible people are probably more prone to submitting to spiritual abuse because they feel it’s their duty to obey and never question.

If you want to break that habit it’s important to learn how to do nothing and simply rest in the knowledge that God loves you and accepts you as you are. It can be helpful to step away from all typical spiritual activity for a season to create a new normal. I’ve had many people write to thank me for giving the “permission” to step away. Responsible people need permission!

Responsible People Need To Be Still and Hear God’s Voice

That’s my message to you today. If you are a high achiever, always in motion, and driven to reach the next level of whatever it is you are chasing… maybe it’s time to take a break. To cease. To recalibrate and quiet your soul long enough to hear God afresh. Maybe he wants you to keep doing what you’ve been doing. But maybe he has a new direction for your life. How will you know that if you never stop and listen? Or maybe you simply need to hear that God loves you even when you aren’t advancing and getting high marks. 

Responsible People Need to Give Themselves Permission to Cease Striving

I’ve read in the news recently about a number of high achieving young people who have taken their own life and I have to wonder if they just grew tired of striving to reach the next level or even maintain their level of excellence. I wish they could have given themselves permission to step off their hamster wheel and simply “be” without the pressure of performing and pleasing others. It grieves me to think how they desperately needed to hear God’s voice of love and acceptance but, for whatever reason, didn’t hear it.

In contrast to this striving, Jesus found his value, not in what he did, but in what his Father said about him, “This is my Son in whom I am well pleased.”

God is pleased with you too, apart from what you do. Can you take a minute right now to thank God for this truth before you run off today to achieve more things? Maybe you need to give yourself permission to rest.

Prayer: Father, forgive me for always needing to go and do. Help me to cease from my work, listen to you, and find my value in being your child and not in what I accomplish. Amen

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