Am I A Racist?
Am I a racist? That’s a provocative question.As a pastor, I always feel a certain obligation to let people know what I think on relevant issues. People are looking for answers in a time like this. I’m happy to help people think things through, but you should know that my thoughts are in process (always).
I’m not writing to tell you how to think or tell you what to do. I’m simply writing to let you know where my head is currently at and to encourage you to think deeply on the topic of racism. Since my thoughts are in process, whatever I write today may not be the full story of what I will believe a year from now or even a week from now. I’m in learning mode. So keep that in mind as you read on.
It’s Not About You. It’s About Me.
One thing I’ve noticed in talking about racial injustice is that people get very defensive, very fast. It seems that people are afraid of being labeled a racist. They are quick to say things like:
I don’t see color.
I love everyone.
I work with people of color. I have friends who are people of color.
I’m not prejudiced against anyone.
I’m sure I’ve said those things too. To be labeled a racist is an ugly tag.Let me put you at ease. This post isn’t to question your moral integrity. Instead, I want to turn the spotlight on me. Let me tell you why I think I might be a racist… and how I’m seeking to change my condition.
Defining Racism
It’s always important to start a discussion like this by defining terms. The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines racism as:
1: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2a: a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles
2b: a political or social system founded on racism
3: racial prejudice or discrimination
So… Am I a Racist?
Treating this definition (above) as a checklist, let me grade myself:
No. Nada. Not a bone of me believes this.
a: Okay, this requires some thought. I believe that some of our political programs probably support racism in a way that I’m not aware of. I need to do more reading and thinking on this because to the degree that I support these programs (if they indeed exist) then I’m guilty of racism.
b. Racism was embedded in our political and social systems from the early days of our country. So it’s hard for me to believe that there are not still remnants of it. I haven’t given this a lot of thought and that’s wrong of me. Just because I haven’t been affected by injustice doesn’t give me a pass to ignore it. So, I’m guilty of racism based on this. It’s not overt (obvious) but no less harmful. If YOU are the target of racism you have the right to question why I’m not concerned about the negative impact it has on you.
3. I’m not aware of any prejudice or discrimination in my life but I’m open to it being pointed out and will own it if it’s there.
Am I A Racist? Part Two
The dictionary uses technical words. Let me define racism in more common terms as I see it.Racism is the open prejudice and discrimination where people reveal their sense of superiority to people of color. It’s obvious and ugly. I don’t own that.But the racism that I haven’t always seen in myself or others consists of the following:
When I fail to see the inherent injustices in our political and social systems.
Because I’m not adversely affected I assume no one is adversely affected. I never stop to consider how our society could be structured to harm others. As mentioned above, I’m guilty of this.
When I see injustice, but I fail to call it out and seek change.
I’m definitely guilty of this. Let me use a different topic to explain what I mean. I once spoke with an elder in a church where the pastor was spiritually abusing people for years. When the church finally fell apart, I asked the elder why he didn’t say anything about the obvious abuse. He said, “Because no one else said anything. I thought I must be wrong.” Yet deep down he knew he wasn’t. I believe I’ve failed in the same way in regard to racial injustice. I could have said more and said it earlier.
When I’m unwilling to consider that I might be wrong.
If you want to be a humble person, the ability to doubt yourself is a requirement. You need to hold your thoughts loosely, especially when they are first being formed. But even after that, you want to be flexible enough to welcome new information. I can’t own this. Once someone pointed out my blindness toward racism, I started to make changes.
When I’m unwilling to listen to the experiences of people of color to learn and gain empathy.
In the book, “White Awake” the author said that he was asked once to list his spiritual influencers. Then he was asked how many were black. His answer, none. The point being, how can we form a conclusion on most anything when we draw from such a limited pool of knowledge. You can’t form an opinion on racism without hearing from people of other colors. This point has caused me to listen and learn from a wider range of voices.
When I’m unwilling to give people the benefit of the doubt when I don’t understand their actions.
We always want people to give us the benefit of the doubt. Maybe we misspoke. Maybe we had a bad day. If I am always quick to judge the other person as having evil intent, then maybe I’m a racist. I think my book on spiritual abuse helped me to think this through because abuse victims are often accused of doing wrong when the focus should be on the abuser.
Over the last two years I’ve chosen to listen and learn. I’ve read a number of books from black authors to hear a different perspective. The documentary “13th” (on Netflix) was very helpful in seeing how racism is baked into our culture. And with the current national crisis prompted by the death of George Floyd, I’ve recommitted myself to learning more, admitting more, and changing more.
Reflections After Visiting Minneapolis
I recently traveled to the site of George Floyd’s death with my youngest daughter. We felt the need to connect what we saw on TV with the actual sites. (I live an hour away from them while my daughter lives only a few miles away).I appreciate her concluding words as she reflected on our trek in a Facebook post:
》》As our vision clears like the smoky haze lifting after nights of devastating riots...How will we live differently? What part will we commit to playing in the solution? 》》
This is where I believe voices like mine ...need to be found: Initiating frank and honest conversations around dining room tables, living rooms, and offices. **Un-learning what we didn't think we thought, and actually learning what we thought we already knew.** Remaining genuinely curious. Getting comfortable in the uncomfortable. Speaking up for what's right. Asking good questions. Fumbling through conversations we've previously avoided or skirted around. Operating in humility. Making mistakes and learning from them. Not moving on when the media does. Doing it all with a love that's beyond (yet within) us.
These are all areas I want to do better. Because we must. It ends with us. - Becca Diederich
Solutions, Not Blame
I’m not interested in casting blame. Like I said in the beginning, that only leads to defensiveness and counter-attacks. Like Becca, I’m interested in finding solutions. Right now, our country is looking for answers to the problem of racial injustice. They want to enact new legislation and bring reform. These steps undoubtedly need to happen but the cure for this disease goes beyond policies and laws.
Racial injustice is a manifestation of conversations that people have had around the dinner table, in the clubhouse, in the office, and even in the church for years. Until those conversations change, we may change laws and policies, but the racism will still exist underground and eventually rear its head again. I’m asking God to cleanse my heart of any trace of racism and think differently. I’m willing to admit my failures and do my part to make sure that all people are treated fairly and with dignity. I hope you are too.
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