Most of us struggle putting boundaries in place with other people.  But when you find the courage to set boundaries you will find a new sense of freedom.

Setting Boundaries Sets You Free

It's like the deer that like to come into my yard. It's impossible to have a successful garden because deer like to eat my vegetables as fast as they grow. The only chance a garden has is if I fence it. Yes, it takes time, money, and effort to build a fence, but at least I can finally harvest a crop. It's amazing how quickly a fence solves the problem (and stops my complaining).

In the same way setting personal boundaries with people will prevent them from draining your life. You might need emotional boundaries, physical boundaries or even legal boundaries. But it’s important to do whatever it takes to keep people from stealing from you. And just like a fence, the results can be immediate and amazing.

Do You Invite Boundary Breakers?

Some people unknowingly invite "boundary breakers" into their lives. It's like setting out corn for the deer inviting them into your yard!

Let me explain with an example. Imagine being a boundary breaker (someone who doesn't hesitate to enter someone’s space to get what they want). You scan your acquaintances looking for the person with the weakest boundaries...the person who can't say "no". When you find them, you turn on the charm, or the pressure, or whatever it takes to get what you want.

This person doesn't want you to take advantage of them. They don't purposefully invite your intrusion into their life. They might simply feel too responsible to say "no" or fear your rejection if they say "no".

The bottom line is, they can't say "no" and you, the boundary-breaker, can smell it a mile away.

People who can't say "no" are usually surrounded by boundary-breakers. They gather around weak people like wolves surrounding their prey.

The Stress of Having No Boundaries

Imagine the stress of being surrounded by people making demands. Everyone expects so much from you. You fear being rejected if you say "no". You fear the cost if you say, "yes.”  It can be overwhelming . As a result, you might strike out in rage, or medicate to numb the pain, or hide in isolation.

Are you someone who can't say "no"? If so, I hope you will get the help you need before  boundary-breakers rob you of any more life. You don't owe them anything. Instead, you owe it to God, yourself, and your friends and family to guard the life God gave you.

This post is the beginning of a series of posts on setting boundaries. Be sure to click through them all

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