In my book, STUCK, I look at the steps to forgiving someone. Desmond Tutu is an excellent example of forgiveness because he has come face to face with hate yet was able to forgive. Here are a few of his quotes on forgiveness that I find helpful.

Forgiveness quotes by Desmond Tutu

The first quote helps to define forgiveness. So often people don't want to forgive because they think it diminishes the offense. Not true.

“Forgiving is not forgetting; it's actually remembering--remembering and not using your right to hit back. It's a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don't want to repeat what happened.”

We also don't like to forgive because it feels like a cover-up...like we are just "playing nice." The feeling of hypocrisy and phoniness is too much to bear. But Tutu says...

“Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.”

Finally, I appreciate what he has to say about humanity, or as I like to say, dignity. It's important that we are careful to preserve the dignity of humanity that God gave to every one of us. Forgiveness is really a way of respecting God even though our offender may not.

“When we see others as the enemy, we risk becoming what we hate. When we oppress others, we end up oppressing ourselves. All of our humanity is dependent upon recognizing the humanity in others.”

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